Thoughts from my inner sanctum
Many times, my deepest thoughts of life came while on safari in Africa. At the end of a day of safari with my clients I enjoyed spending some moments alone enjoying the night sounds, thinking of the past, and dreaming of the future. This was where I sorted out who I was and examined closely the things that influenced my life. Being thousands of miles from home and family in a wilderness environment brought my deepest thoughts to the surface. The feeling was even more intense when I was doing field work on elephants or desert antelope. At these times loneliness often weighed even more on me. Working with guides that barely spoke English and knowing if anything happened to them I would not find my way back to civilization. Those moments in time always brought me to my deepest thoughts or musings.
Life
By C D Tuttle
What exactly is life? It should be made up of good experiences and feelings, but…it is intermixed with considerable disappointment, grief and pain, failed relationships that had great expectations and which at one time brought comfort and security. The loneliness of being without that significant other or hoped for soul mate, the grief of lost friends, family, mother, and father. The unfathomable feeling of loss and hopelessness when you see the needless loss of life and suffering. Life, therefore, is composed of the living as well as the dead and all the memories, good or bad, associated therewith.
Content Copyright 2024 by C. D Tuttle All Rights Reserved
The Daytime
By C D Tuttle
The daytime is the stealer and muddler of my mind. It is a time when too much data smashes into my brain causing mass confusion to the Mind Tender. It is a time when distraction wins out over deep and orderly thought. I can abide this for short periods, but I only await the soothing, quiet moments of late night when I bond with the Mind Tender and organize my thoughts into incredibly systematized bundles of knowledge and thoughts. This is information that I will spin into stories that come from my sleeping awareness, dreams that defy the waking imagination, dreams that I control and form into scenarios that others would cringe and recoil from or be compelled to seek out psychological help. The daytime is for those who are like the worker ants. They go out each day with enthusiasm and at the end of that day they come home thinking that another day has transpired, and this is the way of life, and it is good. Contently they eat their evening meal and retire to bed to eagerly await another day, thus bypassing the sanctity of night and the contentment of the organizational skills of the Mind Tender, and then the analysis of the wonder and amazement of that other world, the dream world, in which anything is possible. Those people of the daytime live but half-lives.
The Mind Tender
By C D Tuttle
In the cubby holes of my brain there is a creature that slithers with great purpose. It is intent on keeping my mind orderly, carefully filing information in their proper niches for future retrieval. Moving calmly and ever so purposely it fetches information as my mind requests it. There are times when I am unclear about the data I want, which throws the memory sorter into a frenzy trying to retrieve the right piece of information, flinging ideas, thoughts, and memories wildly. When the correct data is finally secured and the inquiring mind satisfied, he will then return to re-organize the bits and scraps of information littering the web of my mind, forever maintaining order. He is there, the Mind Tender, always hovering in the shadows of my mind, anxiously waiting for the next query, the next thought or memory or the next bit of new information.
Dreams
By C D Tuttle
Dreams are what the mind does with deeply hidden feelings and fears. To soar in a dream is to throw off all bonds which tie us to the ground and to everyday life. It is an expression of freedom and free will. To dream in full color is the ultimate use of the refined and sensitive brain which expresses its desire to live life to the fullest. To be attacked by our worst nightmares is an expression of our insecurities and fears, but to control our dreams and nightmares and make them what we may is the maximal expression of our inner thoughts and desires. It is the straightforward desire and boldness of personality to control our life and the things around us. It is the total expression of the sweetness of the human mind and its ability to control and cushion the impacts of unsavory events…or is it a pure form of escapism? I wonder…?